What is life: baa-doom-baa-doo-hoola-bree!

Life: Meaningless or Worthless?

Nah, this title looks like an incomplete news headline...

What is life: baa-doom-baa-doo-hoola-bree!

Ah! That's better!

Warning: This is a sarcastic, satirical, fictional, and well, whatever-that-exists-in-the-universe post.

I'm not here to rant about dark matter and missing matter (which is synonymous to a human brain), or explain the outdated laws of physics, or super-multiversal-dynamic-brain-twisting astrophysics which is only carried out on Earth, or tell you about aliens (many are nice) or spaceships (though the RW6 is a real beauty), or chant some magical mantra in your ear like 'ping' or 'ing' or tell you a story about a man, or a woman, or a pig. I'm here to. do. nothing.

Except, of course tell you a fact or two about yourself.

1. You think you've wasted your time reading this. Well, that's a symptom of severe ABRS (refer to Life, or Dumb Existence, and the Meaning of Life), and can be cured by doing just the opposite of what I've predicted that will surely happen to you in that post.
"We must do things for pleasure."

2. And secondly, life, at its very core is very meaningless. I do not imply 'worthless' by saying meaningless. I'll illustrate with an example, a very commonly cited example of the populace:
What does a Diamond mean? It's a rock, a very shiny one, that's it. How do you define it? Do you ever even say, "Hey, get me the correct definition of a diamond, quick!"
If you do, well, you are ABRS negative, and ta-da! You possess a rational mind, a great soul, and a working organ in your skull!

But most people don't ever ask the definition of a diamond, so going by the ideas of the common populace, they know a diamond is a hard, shiny rock that'll get them loads of money, with which they'll fulfil the demands of a programming error in their donated brains, but these commoners will never, ever say, "Dude, a diamond is worthless!". They sell the diamond, zip the money bag, zip their mouths, and well, go on with their respective existences.

The point here is not literal, it is a metaphorical statement that if you substitute Life in the place of a diamond in equation one and two, we get that life is meaningless, not worthless.

The word "baa-doom-baa-doo-hoola-bree!" is meaningless, not worthless. If you try saying that word, it brings you instant joy/elation/happiness. Try it.

Author's Un-apology: I sincerely unapologize for sounding like your philosophical math teacher, who seems interested in literary devices. It was certainly unintended, but it made the last part of my proof easier. Whatever *evil laugh*.

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Ramona Singh